So the Spring Catalog came out for the 2010 semester at Napa Valley College. I haven’t even been able to finish this week of classes before my mom is on my ass about knowing what classes I’m gonna take. First of all I really want to take a lot of my classes with Claudia this semester since that would essentially be the only time I would get to see her. She comes back from El Salvador tomorrow. Gosh, she has such an amazing life and I don’t think she even realizes it. I mean think about it…she has 2 brothers who are always on her side (for the most part) no matter what. She has overprotective parents, but they love her and she is still as free as someone could get. She’s got all this family around that doesn’t make her feel like they are choking her. Now that’s probably because she doesn’t have quite as many people in her family as I do and one of her brothers is on the other side of the U.S., but still. The thing I admire most about her is that she has a job and a best friend she can count on whenever she needs someone to talk to (Bee) and she also knows what she wants to do with her life and she understands the college world and the people in it and she is surrounded by sooo many friends I’m almost jealous of her. I honestly do wish that my four brothers cared at least a little like they do in the movies where the brother and sister who are close in age are really really good friends….that doesn’t really happen in real life does it? I mean I’m not saying that my brothers are my enemies….they just aren’t really my friends like those movie-brothers are with their movie-sisters. Also, the movie-best friend. The person who somehow is actually able to leave whatever they are doing and go to their best friends’ aid whatever they need. Most people don’t have that ability and they are just stuck in whatever place they are just worrying and waiting…..I really hate worrying and waiting. Anyway it’s early…wow 1:30am…hmmm I really am worried about my life, which is probably why I can’t sleep. I’ve done nothing, but gone to school, hung out with Bee, and done my homework every school day until present. I have never had to do anything else so when I left Trinity and into the scary world of NVC, I did it alone because for some reason I don’t have the physical ability to be that person who can go to their friends and just talk to them about whatever is going on in your mind, even though I will gladly listen when they need to. It’s not that I don’t love my friends cause I really do I just don’t feel like I can talk to them about some things and then I don’t like talking to my parents about anything or my other family members. So at the end of the day all I have is me and no one else around to be that movie-best friend who waits on your front porch with a carton of your favorite ice cream and a sad movie on a hard day. Who will stay with you until you fall asleep and the one you know will always be there no matter what they will literally be right there beside you…..always. Thanks for listening
Sara
